I was recently asked by a sister to write down some observations I'd made regarding life and relationships. It isn't customary for me to do this in a public forum, but in keeping with my promise to her, I shall.
On being content:
Contentment is the result of one's reflection on one's daily blessings and a conscientious response of humble gratitude for those blessings.
We live in a world that all too often draws our attention to our faults and the faults of our circumstance. We are essentially cast in the script of our lives as lacking, imperfect, incomplete. Our lives are not validated as authentic or worthwhile unless we are perpetually seeking to better our financial and consequently our social status. Its all about looking good, living large and surrounding ourselves with equally glamorous and upwardly mobile people. As a result, we often respond with resentful dissatisfaction with our lot, always wanting more, always craving something 'better'.
But what if what we have is actually enough? What if we stepped outside this insidious paradigm and observed just how much we DO have? If we could contrast our lives to the lives of any person living in one of the many developing countries of our world, we would be blown away by just how fortunate and full our lives actually are.
I recently had the humbling opportunity to do just that. Earlier this year, I visited my country of origin, the Syrian Arab Republic. As I deeply inhaled the majestic air of my ancestors, I also ingested the raw and very real living conditions of my Syrian brothers and sisters.
Let me start by saying that I have never met happier, more content people in all my life. There were radiant smiles everywhere I turned and exhilarating laughter echoing through the walls of the many homes that I had the privilege to call upon. They were hospitable to a fault, warm and inviting. They found joy in what some may regard as the mundane - a family car journey across the Syrian border into the dusty streets of Lebanon, with no promise of anything more than the woody aroma of cedar competing with that of less appealing but more insistent human odours.
In terms of our Western paradigmatic understanding of wealth, many if not most of these people are incredibly poor. Their homes are small, the amenities are basic, available resources are scarce at best. But their lives are more rich than any people I know, myself included.
Key to this, from my observations, is that they have a very different definition of success. They place far greater import on intangible things- and at the very top of their priorities is family. Consequently, they view life through a lens that enamours gratitude and indeed contentment.
So, having been inspired and humbled by beautiful Syrian hosts and friends, I decided to actively strive towards adopting this world view upon my return to the Great Brown Land, and I have to say, life has never been better.
I am not earning more money, or living in a bigger house in a more 'prestigious' suburb. I am not wearing designer clothing or strutting around in Jimmy Choos. I haven't had a nose job and each of my stretch marks still reside in their usual place, if anything, more assuredly than ever. I am consuming the same food as I was before my Syrian experience. And I still have the same husband and children (God bless each and every one of them). But I am more observant, more reflective, more grateful than I ever thought I could be. And in turn, I am less critical, less angry and much less resentful. I still have moments where I need to scream at the top of my lungs and want to escape to a place of restful quiet, but these are fewer and more far between.
And with that, I arrived at my opening statement, confidently and with eternal hope.
