Darkness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I thought I knew darkness
It was as familiar as the air
Or the back of my eyelids
Or the combination of neurons that are those memories.
I thought I understood it
Well enough to control it.
Well enough to shelve it when it got too dark.
I thought I was strong enough
To withstand it
To ride with it in the passenger seat
‘There’s enough space for both of us’ -

There wasn’t.

There isn’t.

I had no idea
That darkness has no hue
That it cannot be fully known
That that combination of neurons is only the tipping point
That I do not understand it
I cannot control it or shelve it or withstand it
And riding with it is not a safe or viable option
Not even as the driver.