That's the thing about dishwashers- they rob you of thinking time, time when, for me, I come to life-altering realisations... epiphanies, if you will. As I embark on the mountains and mountains of barely used cups, dirty plates and greasy pots, I reflect on the world and my place in it. I'm sure I am not alone in this. There is undoubtedly a population of dish-washing would-be philosophers out there who could rival any of the greats, given the chance to step away long enough from behind the sink to scrawl down said philosophies before they dissipate into the residual suds oozing from the drain.
So anyway, I managed to bring myself to step away, to quickly jot down and share something that I've realised time and again. Here it is:
We have all bought into a big delusion, and its the cause, or at the very least, one of the main causes of many of our disappointments. This big delusion is propped up by the narratives that underpin much of our media, most of our fairy tales and even the stories told to us by our parents (unknowingly of course).
The big delusion is this: that we are all working towards an end point- that our efforts will ultimately lead us to that happy place, whether it be in our relationships, career, family life, health and the list goes on. This is a falsehood, a delusion (or illusion!) because that end point, that happily ever after, doesn't actually exist in this life. You will never arrive to a stagnant, everlasting, Utopian existence here. It doesn't matter how much you want it, how hard you work for it, how long you persevere- there will always be more to do, further to climb, an obstacle to overcome, a surprise you didn't plan for, a setback, a twist in the road.
Think about it. You go to school, aiming for university, motivated by that glorious career at the end of it. But even if you manage to get that career, its not a resting place. Its not a finish line. It's just the beginning of another journey, another long, challenging, road that will require hard work, sacrifice, persistence. Yes, you may reap rewards along the way, and there will be milestones reached that give you momentary glory. But it is just that- momentary.
Same deal with relationships. Its never going to be perfect. You will always have to work at it. It takes hard work, consistently, always. And there won't be a point where that stops, where you arrive to a blissful, endless haven. You may well be blessed enough to survive, to grow old and sit together on the porch, looking back on the life that was, but there will be the life that is, and the life that will be, that, despite your old age, will still require effort.
I apologise for any bubbles I may have burst. Truly, I am sorry. Its not meant to bring you down, just to ground you, to moderate your expectations, to let you know that its okay, we are all in this together. Ultimately, it is the very same delusion that we have all bought into, and its the very same reality that we all must embrace. Yes, our challenges will vary in both severity and type. But they will inevitably be there. And getting through one is no guarantee of no more.
Now, back to those pesky dishes eyeing me from over there. Perhaps they will offer some other form of enlightenment.
x
