To whom it may concern,
I am dedicating this piece to those who lie. Not the occasional white lie to pacify a restless child (which IMHO is still ethically questionable but you could probably just about get away with) but the other type of lying. The lying that you were warned, as a child, never to do. The lying that, if you were raised with even the remote hint of moral guidance, would have been vehemently frowned upon. The lying that should have got you in trouble with your parents, and peeved your family and friends. The lying that starts off appearing relatively benign, but leads to more and more lying, until it redefines your perception of truth, until the line between reality and fantasy is so blurred that your whole life becomes one big fairy-tale (or one big nightmare, depending on where you're standing).
Growing up, my sisters and I were taught to be honest to a fault. We always knew that if we tried to even bend the truth in the slightest, chances were the consequences would be significantly worse than if we came clean. Our parents didn't tolerate dishonesty in any shape or form. So honesty was drummed into us from a very early age, thank God. But to be perfectly honest, I believe children are born with a pronounced moral compass, and rarely need much conditioning to make those ethical choices. In fact, I would argue the opposite to be true: that it is our unhealthy conditioning of them that dulls their inherent moral compass, either through modelling inappropriate behaviour, or ignoring the bad behaviour when they slip up. As parents, we need to be ever-vigilant with the choices that we make, especially when we are in their company, and we must take our responsibility of being their guides/reminders/advisers very seriously and be consistent in our messages.
So with that in mind, I have always struggled with liars. I find it very hard to understand them. When I encounter a habitual liar, I often get angry, then frustrated, then I just end up feeling very sorry for them. Because I can only imagine the unfortunate condition of their soul. For all intents and purposes, they may appear okay, but I firmly believe that deep down, they are rotting. Their soul is suffering and that suffering will manifest in a sick body and mind. And that can't be easy to live with.
It doesn't matter what justifications they might use with themselves, their soul knows the truth and it can't possibly be content. And to live in an indefinite state of discontent must not only be exhausting but so very destructive. Divine justice aside (and if you believe in God, you will be well aware of the dire consequences for lying), those finite, worldly consequences must be bad enough.
So my humble advice to those that are in the habit of lying, you can stop. Make a conscious decision to be honest, not just with others but with yourselves. Re-tune that moral compass of yours and make amends to your soul. And don't forget to ask God for forgiveness. Its not too late. You have until your last breath to do that.
I pray that you find your way, that your arrogance is swiftly replaced with humility and that you can walk the beautiful path of honesty and righteousness. May God have mercy on your soul. Ameen.
Yours humbly,
Rafa.
