Advice on the wall.

Saw this on a wall sticker today, had to share it.

Life is too short

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness
Laugh when you can
Apologise when you should
And let go of what you can’t change
Love deeply and forgive quickly
Take chances! Give everything you have!
Have no regrets…life’s too short to be unhappy
You have to take good with the bad
Smile when you’re sad
Love what you got… and
Always remember what you had.
Always forgive. Never forget.
Learn from your mistakes,

But never regret.

Fact.

It is a fact of life that some people will feature more profoundly in your life's tapestry than you will in theirs. And vice versa. All you can do is try to ensure that the mark you make, irrespective of its profundity, is a beautiful one.

Nails

Dear children,

There was a story that my mum told me once, when I was a child, and it has stayed with me ever since. I would like to share it with you.

It went something like this.

Many years ago, there lived a little boy. A beautiful little boy, but this boy had one vice. He would easily lose his temper, and when he did, he would lash out and say hurtful things to the people that he loved. His mother became concerned about his behaviour, and so she came up with a plan.

The next time the boy lost his temper, she calmly handed him a hammer and nail, and asked him to go and hammer it into the back fence. The boy looked puzzled, but he did as he was told.

For the few weeks, every time the boy lost his temper, she would give him another nail, and every time, he would go to the fence and hammer it in.

As the weeks passed, the boy grew tired of this task, and consequently, he tried very hard to manage his anger to avoid having to hammer another nail. Increasingly, his behaviour improved, and more and more, he was able to control his anger. This made his mother very happy, and she would praise his reactions.

Then one day, she took him by the hand to the fence. Together, they removed all of the nails, one at a time. The bare fence now looked quite damaged, and still retained the holes from where the nails had been.

"I am very proud of you my son, for learning to control your anger. Because, every time you become angry, you hurt people, just like these nails did to the fence. And even when its all over, the hurt can cause irreparable damage."

The boy's eyes welled up; he now understood. He hugged his mother, and asked for her forgiveness.

xx

5 more values espoused by Islam.

1. Smile. Its an act of charity. Smile. Its contagious. Smile. It will inevitably affect your mood and that of those who behold you. :)

2. God is Beautiful and He loves beauty. So be beautiful. Foster those qualities that will beautify you; when you are beautiful on the inside, you will also exude outward beauty.

3. Remember your manners. The Prophet (pbuh) said: "The most beloved of Allah's servants to Allah are those with the best manners." So, get that chip off your shoulder and remember please, thank you, your welcome and the rest.

4. Give, give then give some more. And do so for no other reason than to seek the pleasure of God. Do so discreetly, and without any expectations. The Quran emphasises charity 150 times. And it is one of the 5 pillars of Islam. So its importance cannot be overstated.

5. Always be just in your dealings, even if it is to your detriment. It will not go unnoticed or unrewarded where it matters most, with God.

My baby is growing up!

My baby turned two today.

Two years ago today, we welcomed his beautiful soul into our family, by the Grace and Blessing of God. I still remember that first deep exchange we shared, at our private meeting in the hospital mother's room; his head carefully resting in my palms, his swaddled body cushioned in my lap. He still smelled of the womb. I officially introduced myself to him, and whispered prayers as I beheld his angelic face in awe and elation. He looked back, earnestly, his eyes wise despite their infancy, his face radiating an ethereal beauty, enchanting and sublime. I knew I would love and protect him forever. 

Today, Jacob is still enchanting and sublime. His nature is gentle and kind. He is soft and affectionate, he loves everyone and everything, and happily shares his hugs and kisses abundantly. He is clever, sociable and loves story time. His favourite pastime is doing puzzles, going up and down (on the swing) and the swiiiiiiiiide. He also adores Barn-ee and the Giggles (Barney and the Wiggles). But best of all, he loves to sing.

We didn't celebrate his birthday with a party or with presents, but this evening, we did take him to Tayta and Gedo's house (to his grandparents) for an impromptu visit. Unbeknownst to us, they had organised a cake and two candles for him. We gathered around, and sang him happy birthday. I can honestly say I have never seen a child get so excited at being sung to; his eyes lit up, his smile filled the room, and he squealed with delight, imploring his daddy to come closer as his little arms held me tight. I will never forget that moment for the rest of my life, the joy he expressed was immeasurable. Just beautiful. 

Happy birthday my dear little boy. You are so very very loved.  May you be blessed with a 100 more birthdays and may all of your days be filled with the joy that you felt today, and the joy that you bring us every day, ameen.

People are beautiful.

The unfortunate life of an habitual liar.

To whom it may concern,

I am dedicating this piece to those who lie. Not the occasional white lie to pacify a restless child (which IMHO is still ethically questionable but you could probably just about get away with) but the other type of lying. The lying that you were warned, as a child, never to do. The lying that, if you were raised with even the remote hint of moral guidance, would have been vehemently frowned upon. The lying that should have got you in trouble with your parents, and peeved your family and friends. The lying that starts off appearing relatively benign, but leads to more and more lying, until it redefines your perception of truth, until the line between reality and fantasy is so blurred that your whole life becomes one big fairy-tale (or one big nightmare, depending on where you're standing).

Growing up, my sisters and I were taught to be honest to a fault. We always knew that if we tried to even bend the truth in the slightest, chances were the consequences would be significantly worse than if we came clean. Our parents didn't tolerate dishonesty in any shape or form. So honesty was drummed into us from a very early age, thank God. But to be perfectly honest, I believe children are born with a pronounced moral compass, and rarely need much conditioning to make those ethical choices. In fact, I would argue the opposite to be true: that it is our unhealthy conditioning of them that dulls their inherent moral compass, either through modelling inappropriate behaviour, or ignoring the bad behaviour when they slip up. As parents, we need to be ever-vigilant with the choices that we make, especially when we are in their company, and we must take our responsibility of being their guides/reminders/advisers very seriously and be consistent in our messages.

So with that in mind, I have always struggled with liars. I find it very hard to understand them. When I encounter a habitual liar, I often get angry, then frustrated, then I just end up feeling very sorry for them. Because I can only imagine the unfortunate condition of their soul. For all intents and purposes, they may appear okay, but I firmly believe that deep down, they are rotting. Their soul is suffering and that suffering will manifest in a sick body and mind. And that can't be easy to live with.

It doesn't matter what justifications they might use with themselves, their soul knows the truth and it can't possibly be content. And to live in an indefinite state of discontent must not only be exhausting but so very destructive. Divine justice aside (and if you believe in God, you will be well aware of the dire consequences for lying), those finite, worldly consequences must be bad enough.

So my humble advice to those that are in the habit of lying, you can stop. Make a conscious decision to be honest, not just with others but with yourselves. Re-tune that moral compass of yours and make amends to your soul. And don't forget to ask God for forgiveness. Its not too late. You have until your last breath to do that.

I pray that you find your way, that your arrogance is swiftly replaced with humility and that you can walk the beautiful path of honesty and righteousness. May God have mercy on your soul. Ameen.

Yours humbly,

Rafa.